


the other side

by alecjbi



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Duelling, Dying Hamilton, F/M, Feels, Hurt Alexander Hamilton, I'm Sorry, One Shot, hamilton's last moments, lowkey a song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-06 15:25:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12213609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alecjbi/pseuds/alecjbi
Summary: teach me how to say goodbye





	the other side

**Author's Note:**

> okay to add onto the list of nerdy things about me, i'm a musical nerd,,,, hamilton was the first musical i got into and i saw it in chicago for my birthday!! 
> 
> this is more of a concept fic, i didn't want to write a traditional relationship fic for hamilton. if you like this or want some other stuff i have be more chill and overwatch fics that you can check out! thank you for reading <3
> 
> tumblr: alecjb.tumblr.com  
> twitter: twitter.com/diiffindo

_I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory._

The cracking sound of a bullet rang in Hamilton's ears. Yet, he wasn't focused on the bullet which was undoubtedly barreling towards him. He was focused on the sunset peeking behind the trees, tinting the river pinks and oranges. The leaves under his feet, the weight of the gun raised above his head. The familiarity of his coat, the men standing around him.

Burr.

_Perhaps the last face I ever get to see..._

He was standing there, eyes focused on a spot between Alexander's ribs. His finger still on the trigger, his arm not quite moving from the shock of the bullet. Everything was slowing, stopping, freezing as Alexander stared at Burr.

Burr. The man who had been his first friend when Alexander was simply a dirty immigrant finding his way in America. When they were both only young, head full of dreams and plans, not a care in the world besides what they were going to do when they were older. When things were easy.

The man who had led Alex through the streets of New York when he was nineteen. 

The man who had ruined Alexander's career, who had ruined his life, and...

The man that was about to kill him.

His eyes were focused on a single spot on Alexander's chest. His arm starting to shake from the realization of what he had just done. His mouth opening, slowly, slowly as a pointed cylinder came towards him. Flying through the air.

Alexander brought his hand down, his gun lowering to the ground. He locked his eyes on it, the weapon holding comfort and fear all at the same time.

 _I examine the gun that we shared. Phillip never hurt a soul, he must have been so scared._  

Phillip.

Is this how he felt? Cold? Staring down the barrel of a gun held by his first friend, his enemy?

Alexander could no longer see Burr. He stared at a white sheet far above him, moving slowly around him. Something bright peeked out from the corner- the sun? Alex felt himself barreling towards it, pulling him away from the mortal relm.

_Not yet._

And he was returned, staring back at the sky.

He felt something in his chest, it hurt. Nothing like the assorted wounds he had gotten from the war or at home. Nothing like when he lay in the arms of his mother, dying. It was dull, throbbing to the beat of his heart. He could hear his heart beat. He was rocking back and forth, the smell of salt everywhere.

It was calming.

Alexander's mind could not help but wander back to his son. He must have been so scared, fearing of leaving this world without saying goodbye. Was he ready to go? Was Alexander's sendoff enough, did he calm him? 

Did Phillip feel so utterly  _alone?_

At that moment, Alexander realized he was not ready to leave. He had so much more to do, so much more to see. He could fix the mess he made, tell Angelica he was sorry. Tell everyone he was sorry. He had so much more to write, so much to sort through, so much he had to do for his children.

Yet, he felt the pull, this time inside his chest. He had to go.

_Teach me how to say goodbye._

Alexander was alone. Surrounded by white, the pull in his chest stronger than ever. He stood up, legs shaking. He looked down, seeing blood splattered and staining his shirt.

It was time to go.

He took a step forward, picking his eyes up off the ground to move forward. The white parted, and Alexander caught a glimpse of what stood ahead.

Hundreds of black soldiers led by a strong man, smiling widely as he saw Alex. A blood stain decorated his chest, but he did not seem to notice. Atop a horse he galloped away, his battle cries echoing through the silence.

Another step.

A young man stood in front of him, only nineteen. Freckles and curly hair that framed it decorated his face, kind eyes lighting up as his gaze landed upon the older man. He waved, revealing a similar bloodstain above his hip and on his arm. He held a gun that Alexander recognized, and a coat that he had once worn.

Another step.

A woman stepped next to him, a kind and nuturing face greeting Alexander for the first time in years. She was dirty, sickly, yet happy.

One step in front of the other, and Alexander started running.

A man holding a sword stood far in front of him, badges and medals decorating his breast. Familiar eyes, stern yet loving face. Wrinkles, tired eyes, but still the only father figure Alexander had ever known.

Alex ground to a halt in front of his commander. The soldier rose his hand to his head in a salute, relishing in the smile Washington gave him as he returned the gesture. The commander bowed to him, and once again, Alexander was alone.

It was brighter than ever before, the pull in his chest going somewhere else. Was he going to leave now? Was this death? Nothingness? Was this the en-

_Eliza._

Alexander's wife appeared in front of him, tears in her eyes, as she reached out her hand. Everything was the same as Alexander remembered. Her hair fell gracefully at her shoulders, eyes shocking and comforting at the same time.

The best of wives, the best of women. The one he had fallen in love with all those years ago. The woman he would always be in love with, not matter what mistakes he made.

Yet, he had to go alone. She had so much more to do.

_My love, take your time. I'll see you on the other side._

Alexander reached his hand out, grasping at air as Eliza disappeared, unspoken words on her lips. There was so much more to do, so much he was leaving behind, yet... it was time. 

Alexander started walking again, following wherever the pull in his chest was taking him. He found himself singing a song from long ago.

_Raise a glass to freedom..._

One step after the other, Alexander walked into the light, warmth embracing him. The light was blinding, encompassing, yet, it was okay. 

Alexander took one last step and did not look back.

**Author's Note:**

> full disclosure i cried while writing this lol


End file.
